


Photos

by broken_fangirl15



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Break Up, F/F, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Short One Shot, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:49:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fangirl15/pseuds/broken_fangirl15
Summary: Maya's POV after she threw the cheating thing at Carina's face (set after episode 3x15).
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	Photos

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel of my fic "Coeur brisé"

Maya walked into her bedroom, slamming the door, she was so pissed. So pissed that she was pacing back and forth trying to calm her nerves.

From the other side of the wall, she could hear Carina trying to catch her breath. And then, she heard her leaving the apartment.

In fact, pacing back and forth in her bedroom wasn’t really helping her. It was making her nerves worse than before, so she got out of her room and left her apartment for a run.

It was around 9pm. It was dark and cold outside. The bad weather didn’t bother Maya, she was used to it because her father made her run no matter what the weather when she was in high school.

During her run, her head was replaying Carina’s reaction to her confession and all she felt was anger. She was so mad at herself for having slept with Jack, at Carina for pushing her to her realize her father’s abuse. She was so mad that she was running fast and she didn’t care that her lungs were burning. She just wanted to run and to forget what happened just a few hours ago.

The Olympic Gold medal champion ran for one hour. For some, running for one hour would be a huge torture but for her, it was perfect and somehow, it made her feel better.

After her run, she took a shower and went to bed. Maya wasn’t really a sleeper because sleeping made her anxious but with all the emotions she had been feeling that day, she fell asleep without difficulties.

The next day, she woke up, drank a coffee and went to work. And she did the same thing, every day, during the following months.

The blonde had been raised by embracing her pain, which meant that she had no idea of how to express her feelings, so she pretended to be fine to everyone around her. But Jack knew something was bothering Maya although he never tried to make her talk about it. He knew that she didn’t want to talk at all about what happened between her, Jack and Carina, or at least, she wasn’t ready yet.

Jack knew that he and Maya had fucked up so badly and he felt guilty for Maya because he knew Carina made her happy. He felt angry at himself for messing up all the progress he had made to become a better person and to deal with his PTSD. But despite all of this, he was doing his best to be a good friend to Maya, to be a better person.

4 months after what happened between her and Carina, and after a long shift, Maya was sitting on her couch with her phone in her right hand and a beer in the other hand. She had not heard from Carina in the last 4 months, she hadn’t tried to contact her and Carina hadn’t contacted her either. As she scrolled through her photos on her phone, Maya fell upon the pictures of her and Carina during their first vacation together. And suddenly, she felt lots of emotions. Sadness, anger and guilt. For the first time in a few months, she was feeling something and she didn’t like it.

Looking at the pictures made the blonde woman realize how much she had fucked up the best thing that had happened to her in years. Maya was not the relationship type and she even said to Andy, one day, that monogamy was for the weak, but Carina came in her life at the right moment – and yet she fucked up it. The Italian woman had changed her life in a short space of time, something that she never expected it. At first, it was just a hookup and with time, it became more than that. Carina was her safe place and yet, Maya messed it up. She messed up the best relationship she’d ever had. She hated herself so much that she whispered to herself ‘ _fuck fuck fuck FUCK ! I’m so stupid’._

She was so mad at herself that she needed to talk to someone so she grabbed her phone and called Jack.

« Hi » Maya said

« Hi » Jack replied

« Are you busy ? »

« Not at all. I’m just watching a Seahawks game. What’s wrong ? »

« I… I’m sorry »

« For what ? »

« For what happened between us 4 months ago… »

« I’m sorry too »

« Why ? You don’t need to apologize »

« I do need to apologize because I fucked up too in the story. I should have stopped you »

« And I should not have jumped on you… I’m truly sorry Jack. »

« It’s fine Maya. I appreciate your apologies. What has made you apologize ? »

« Hmm I was looking at the pictures of my vacation with Carina and it made me realized lots of things... God I hate myself. I’m so stupid »

« Why ? »

« Because I realized that everyone was right about my father. Everyone except me. I fucked up the best relationship I ever had because of my father. Carina was the best thing that happened to me in years and I messed up so bad because of him. » said Maya with a shaking voice.

« I’m sorry Maya »

« Yeah… »

« Do you want her back ? »

« Honestly ? Yes I want her back but I think it’s too late. I fucked up so bad »

« You can apologize to her »

« It’s too late now Jack… »

« You would be surprised how far an « I’m sorry » can get you »

« I don’t really think that some apologies will work because it’s not enough when you cheat on your girlfriend… »

« You should try. You have nothing to lose »

« Yeah but still… »

« Try Maya. If you want her back, just try to apologize and if that’s not enough to her, then move on or ask to her if you both can stay as friends if you don’t want to lose her »

« Thanks Jack… »

« Anytime Bishop »

« How is the game ? »

« Boring. They are losing »

« Dammit fuck. They are playing really bad this season, aren’t they ? » Maya chuckled

« Yeah they are » Jack chuckled too

« Well I’m going to let you enjoy the rest of the boring game. Thank you for listening to me »

« You’re welcome. Goodnight Bishop, see you tomorrow »

« Goodnight Gibson, see you tomorrow »

After her call with Jack, the blonde woman felt the urge to send a message to Carina so she started to type :

« _Hey, I know it has been a long time and tonight I just felt like I owed you some apologies for what happened 4 months ago so… I’m truly sorry for what I did to you. It was so unfair and mean of me and you were right about my father. And I… I just was stupid to not believe you I guess ?_ »

But while writing her message, Maya realized that it was too complicated to apologize by text message. She was struggling to find the right words and she felt her text wasn’t truly honest so she decided to delete the message.

Over the next few months, the Captain thought a lot about sending an apology message to Carina when she had free time but it was always the same thing, still struggling to be true in her explanation so she just decided to give up the idea of sending an apology message.

And then one day, after saving a pregnant woman from a fire in her apartment, Maya was going to take her with Ben to Grey Sloan Memorial. She wasn’t anxious at the idea of meeting Carina at the hospital for the simple reason that she hadn’t seen her in 7 months.

What she didn’t know was that Carina would be there to get the patient when she and Ben arrived at the hospital.

When the firefighter took the pregnant woman inside of the hospital, she was surprised to see Carina. The Italian OBGYN was tanned and was wearing the smile that she loved. That smile she had missed seeing. It was a bit awkward for Maya to look into Carina’s eyes after what she did to her but Carina had no problem looking at her. In fact, she was just being professional and polite.

The two women didn’t really talk, as Carina was just listening to what Maya was saying to her about the patient’s state.

After Carina took the patient for examination, Maya signed some papers and left the hospital with Ben. As soon as they got in the Aid Car, they received a call for an injured child at the skating rink.

At the end of her shift, the blonde woman took the decision to go back to the hospital. She knew Carina’s shift ended in one hour so she decided to wait for her on a bench outside.

One hour later, she saw the Italian woman leaving the hospital with Amelia. She got up off the bench and walked to Carina. The OBGYN was surprised to see her. Maya was nervous to speak to her ex girlfriend after what she did to her but she couldn’t ignore the problem anymore. She needed to fix what she had messed up in her relationship with Carina. She had no idea if the brunette would listen her but she truly needed to apologize.


End file.
